Email, Twitter, Facebook are all social networks. Any interaction between two humans is social, regardless of what channel that interaction takes place on. So, there’s no reason not to apply that hard won real world experience to your social and email marketing efforts. We’ve put together a top five list of things you shouldn’t do at a party or in email marketing.

1. Talk about yourself constantly

You may be the world’s most interesting person or brand for that matter, but talking only about yourself is a sure way to bore people to death and drive them away. Don’t go on and on in email marketing or on social about how wonderful your brand is. People want to hear about how your product or service can add value to their lives! Don’t tell me what a product can do! Tell me what people are doing with your product!

2. Not listen to people

Traditional media technology doesn’t provide for a conversation. Marketers have been trapped by a push methodology where the objective was to repeat the message over and over until you felt it had registered. That’s perfectly fine if your target audience can’t respond and interact with you, but in today’s online world, they have that ability and they want to be heard. Listen to what people are talking about and then use that knowledge to relate back to them.

3. Be oblivious to current events

Those who know how to network at social events realize that being up on current events and tying discussion in with them helps you connect. If you don’t know what’s going on in your subscriber’s world, how can you be relevant and engaging?

4. Not know who you’re talking with

What you say and how you say it depends on who you are talking with. Not knowing that can make you irrelevant or worse, insulting. Do your homework on your subscribers and partner with an ESP who can provide the kind of behavioral data that allows you to do that.

5. Re-dip the chip

Don’t keep going back to the dip with the same chip. People aren’t surprised by the fact that others have certain areas of hyper-focus, but the smart networkers are the ones who can mix things up and balance that with a variety of relevant content. Yes, stay on message, but also stay on guard for engagement killers such as repetition and lack of creativity.

As with a cocktail party, the effective socializers realize it’s important to show a real interest in what others are saying. Being able to connect with people on their terms sets you apart in a noisy room. It’s the same thing in email and social marketing. Knowing what interests your subscribers and engaging them with content which is relevant to them personally will give you the edge in your campaigns.

So that’s it.  Problem solved, right?

I wish.  Whether from the unscrupulous selling of emails, to the hijacking of address books, etc., there are still many slices of spam slipping under the door to the inbox.  Enough in fact that we’ve become quick on the draw when it comes to flagging messages.  And it’s evident that users fatigued from dealing with an ever increasing volume of email have taken to flagging many legitimate messages merely because they seem spammy, are annoying or because they’re seeking vengeance against senders that abuse our patience.  And therein lies the trouble.  It’s helpful and necessary to identify true spam, but when a sender’s legitimate messages get flagged it hurts the brand, the delivery rate of the IP address (and anyone sharing that address) and may even cause loss of whitelisting.

Here at Sailthru we’re constantly advising our clients that spam is in the eye of the beholder.  Just because you obtained a user email though sound practices doesn’t mean you can take that interest for granted.  Behavioral studies are showing that people react to what’s happening on their computer screen the same way they do in life.  Which is to say, if you wouldn’t do it out there, don’t do it in here.  Would you leave five voice mails with a friend during the day just to say “hi”?  (note: if you said yes…you might need a hobby.)  And which would be more annoying, the frequency of the calls, or the fact that they were devoid of content?  Answer: it doesn’t matter.

If you want an engaged, responsive user base that looks forward to your messages and keeps you in the inbox, then be sure to follow these five C’s:

-be CONSIDERATE.  There are real people, real busy people just like you receiving those emails who deserve to be treated like friends.
-be CONTENT driven.  We all want real content–a reason to open and spend time with messages.
-be CONCISE.  There’s no prize for longest or most busy email.
-be CREATIVE in design, branding and delivery.  Think about, test and get feedback on the user experience to your messages.
-be CONSISTENT.  More isn’t necessarily better, but if you’re weekly BE weekly, if you’re daily BE daily.

Because ultimately spam is whatever you say it is.